It Still Hurts
by Thalia Eltanin
Summary: Everyone knows Thalia Grace is now a Hunter of Artemis and and Percy Jackson's friend. Everyone knows she now has a not-great-but-okay-enough relationship with her dad, Zeus.  -What no one knows is that Thalia is still mourning over Luke Castellan's death


_**Hello everyone!**_

_**ThaliaMalfoy is here again. And she's presenting her very first Percy Jackson fanfic!**_

_**Without further ado, here it is.**_

_**Read, enjoy, review!**_

_**Much love,**_

_**ThaliaMalfoy **_

DISCLAIMER: I am not Rick Riordan. Promise. 

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><p>The other Hunters and I set camp in a forest somewhere in Maine. We were to go south in the morning.<p>

Being the lieutenant of Lady Artemis, I had a tent to myself. I liked the privacy, and the inside of the tent was cozy.

"Good night, Thalia!" Phoebe called, as I was going inside my tent. I smiled at her and waved. I went inside my silver home.

Inside, there was a mat where I sleep and a lamp, with crackling fire dancing inside. This had been my home for a few months now. Not much, but I loved it.

I dropped my bag on the floor, and several items fell out. I hadn't realized it was open. "Damn," I muttered.

I kneeled and started fixing the few items that I owned: some canteens of nectar and ambrosia, my diary, a few pictures… and a locket. I picked it up and opened it.

_Luke & Thalia_ was etched one side of the heart-shaped locket and on the other side was _Love & Trust_.

Love and Trust. I laughed bitterly. Luke and I had been closer to each other than we were to Annabeth. I thought I knew him. Look at how he turned out.

I recalled the time when he gave me that locket.

"_We're L and T," he said as he fastened the locket around my neck._

"_L and T?"_

_He smiled. "Luke and Thalia," he said. "And this locket will help us remember that our friendship is built on love and trust."_

"_Love?" I turned around and fingered the locket now placed on my chest._

_He nodded. "When we get to the camp Grover told us about, we have all the time in the world. We will be together, Iya. We will grow old safely and have a peaceful life."_

_I was twelve, and the prospect of a peaceful life after these months of endless running and fighting appealed to me. "Will we always be together? You'll always be there for me?"_

_He patted my shoulder. "Yes." _

"_Promise?"_

"_Promise."_

That was the day I died. We were so close to Half-Blood Hill, and yet so far. Someone needed to hold the monsters off.

I was that someone. That was the most miserable moment of my life. I thought that the chance of Luke keeping his promise was gone. Because I died. And he thought it, too. I saw it in his eyes when I told him to go with Grover and Annabeth and leave me.

But then the Golden Fleece gave me life again. I was elated that I could be with Luke once more. But he was gone. They told me he had changed. Traitor, they called him. I didn't know what to do. Then I promised myself that I would bring him back. I knew he would come with me. He had to.

When I fought him on Mount Tam, I couldn't believe it. The Luke I knew was gone… the caring… thoughtful Luke Castellan. Instead, there was someone cold and desperate. I couldn't fight him. He had Luke's face. Though it was scarred and looked tired, it was still the face of Luke that I loved so much.

_I knew I had to fight him. But every swing I made ripped my heart._

_I had managed to slash his cheek, but that was it. I couldn't fight anymore, but I did. Luke was a talented swordsman, but I taught him everything he knew. He never beat me, not even in a sparring game. _

_I feinted to the side. He followed, but managed to block it when I aimed for his head._

"_Iya," he suddenly whispered. I froze when he used his old nickname for me, and he managed to maim my leg. I started to move again and struck everywhere I could, but he blocked all my aims._

"_How dare you call me that?" I hissed. "After all you've done… after all you've done! They were right, you are a traitor. I was stupid to think that you would change for me!"_

"_Remember the times we were together?" he asked as if I didn't say anything. "We were happy, weren't we? We would be together forever."_

_I felt tears in my eyes, but I blinked rapidly. I couldn't afford to have my sight clouded in a fight. "That was long before, Luke."_

"_But we can still do that, Iya. Go over to Kronos' side. I will protect you," he said. "I promise."_

_I spat as his face. "You never keep your promises." _

_He seemed to know what I was talking about. "I will. I am. By joining the force of Lord Kronos, I am ensuring my safety. And yours, if you allow me to let you join. We could be together at last."_

_My heart throbbed as I watched him plead. "Can't you see, Luke? No one is going to be safe if Kronos will rule. You won't be able to control it. Look at what you did to Annabeth."_

"_But Iya," Luke insisted. "I love you."_

_It was the first time he's ever said that out loud. "I love you, too, Luke," I said. "But that doesn't change anything. I can't abandon the camp."_

"_I will also keep the camp safe. All our friends. Just come with me," he begged. "Please, Thalia."_

_I wanted to go. But I saw that this time, he was lying. He couldn't protect the camp, Kronos wouldn't allow it._

"_I can't trust you," I sobbed. "I can't."_

_Something about Luke changed. His eyes seemed to frost over and his voice became raspy. "Come with me, or I will make sure all the campers would die. You will regret this, Thalia Grace." I somehow knew that it was Kronos' influence. But it wasn't completely that. What was happening… what he was now was fueled by his anger._

_I felt tears flow down my cheeks. "Luke…"_

_But Luke became Luke again. This time, desperation was clear on his face. He lunged at me, but I slammed Aegis to him. He dropped his sword and I put my spear point at the base of his neck._

"_Well?" he said. I knew him well enough to know that he was afraid._

_I glared at him._

"_Don't kill him!" I heard Annabeth scream behind me. I did not take my eyes off Luke's._

"_He's a traitor," I said furiously. "A traitor!"_

"_We'll bring Luke back. To Olympus. He… he'll be useful."_

"_Is that want you want, Thalia?" Luke sneered. "To go back to Olympus in triumph? To please your dad?"_

_He looked angry. I knew this was betraying him. He knew that I knew about his hatred of the gods. He confided in me the anger he felt for them ignoring him. He told only me. He trusted me to understand. And what hurt so much about it was that I didn't. Maybe I did before, but now, I can't understand him._

_I lowered my spear slightly. _

_But he took advantage of my hesitation. He grabbed for my spear, but I pulled it back. All instinct, I kicked him, just as how I would have kicked any other attacker. I wasn't thinking._

_He lost his balance, and slipped. Then his body hurled toward the rocks._

"_Luke!" Annabeth screamed._

_I stared in terror at his body, bent and broken. No, no. Please. I prayed to all the gods on Olympus that this wasn't real._

_But it was._

_I killed Luke._

I wiped the tears off my face as I remembered. I knew he didn't really die. He survived the fall. But he died anyway, in the end he saved the gods he swore to hate. He died saving the human race, a hero.

"That's my Luke," I whispered.

I looked at the pictures sprawled on my floor. One of them was of Luke and me.

Before I died. Before all of it happened. Luke was as handsome as ever, and me, an awkward twelve-year-old. His arm was around me, and smiling. A real smile I haven't seen in a long time.

L and T.

That was years ago. But I remember every moment I spent with Luke.

His death was long ago as well. Even Annabeth, who absolutely worshiped Luke once, got over it already.

But why can't I move on?

It was past now. And I have a whole eternity ahead of me. Literally. I had a whole life now. I could do whatever I want.

But there was still a part of me that wanted Luke's promise kept. I wanted to have a peaceful life with someone I love and who loves me, too. I wanted to grow up, have kids, a completely happy life. And when my life would end, I wanted to feel complete. I want to live my life to the fullest with the guy I love and be able to rest beside him… with him. Always.

But the boy who made we want all that was gone now, and I can't fulfill that promise without him. I just can't.

Luke was gone. I would have to forever live with that.

That's why it still hurts.


End file.
